You're destined for pain.

You're doomed for loss.

Your very existence is condemned to suffering.

I'm not being pessimistic, negative or speaking out of defeat here.

I'm just telling the truth.

The seemingly cold, harsh truth.

But here's an even bigger truth that you'll most likely love...

That suffering you're bound to? The same suffering that made the strong break into tears and the busy crash in overwhelm? The same suffering that cripples you into depression, and submits you to loneliness?

It's not something to dread or fear, but something to love and cherish. For, it's not suffering that enslaves you to torment — but the absence of purpose that chains you to it.

It's not actually suffering that condemns you, but the emptiness you feel when you don't know WHY you're suffering.

Allow me to explain to you how, and what we can do about it.

Suffering with a WHY

Imagine a man stripped of everything — his home, his family, even his name. A number tattooed on his arm, ash filling his lungs, death whispering to him every day from the fences of Auschwitz.

This was reality for Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who endured the unimaginable during the Holocaust.

Yet, in that hell, he noticed something extraordinary: those who survived weren’t always the strongest or healthiest. They were the ones who clung to a why. A reason to keep living.

A mother praying to see her child again.
A scientist determined to finish his work.
A lover holding onto a promise.

Frankl himself survived by imagining his wife’s face and mentally reconstructing the book manuscript the Nazis had burned — his life’s work.

“Those who have a why to live, can bear almost any how.”

Suffering didn’t vanish for the survivors. But purpose became the raft that kept them afloat in an ocean of despair.

Suffering is inevitable, everyone will receive it. But Frankl proved a deeper truth:

 Suffering without meaning breaks you; suffering with meaning transforms you.

The same pain that drowns one person becomes the fire that forges another.

So ask yourself:

• What’s the why that will make your how bearable?
• What mission could turn your pain into a compass?

Because the worst fate isn’t suffering. It’s staring at the chains of your struggles and never realizing… you held the key.

Why couldn’t you see it?
We’ll get into that soon.

So, to bring it back.

You'll suffer your entire life.

Might be the gruelling feeling of having to get up early to work.
Might be the patience tested by your annoying boss.
Might be the defeat you face after hoping it'll turn out different this time.
Might be the broken heart received after a break-up.

Might be something as big as a loved passing away.
Might be as small as forcing yourself to take a walk.

Might be anything at all...

With purpose held strongly in our hearts; suffering becomes meaning, obstacle becomes a chance to deem yourself worthy, and motivation is struck from almost anything.

So yes, you're destined to suffer for your entire life. But here’s the secret: suffering isn’t your sentence — it’s your forge. And the tool that shapes it? Purpose.

What I meant to say at the start of this blog was: you've been blessed endless outlooks of meaning, you've been granted a plethora of reasons to keep pushing, and an abundant reasons to love yourself.

You just need to find that reason.

How To Find Purpose

Before I end this essay, and now we know the importance of purpose, let's go over some ways to find purpose and what to do with it.

Firstly, meditate.

It's so important but taken seriously by few.

Clean your space or sit outside. Breathe from your diaphragm, slow and steady. Gently free your mind from worries and just... let go.

An extreme version of this, but my personal favourite, is a complete 24 hour depravation.

No food.
No water.
No talking.
No reading.
No human interaction.

Just you, in your room, meditating with a pencil and paper for any notes.

And in your silence, reflect on your life. Not in judgement, but peace.

What brought you immense joy? What could you do for hours and never tire?

Follow that purpose.

What brought you to great sadness? What pains you to hear about even today?

How can you fix that? Follow that purpose.

Purpose looks different for everyone. It evolves. Don’t stress if it shifts — or if what once lit you up now barely flickers. Let it come to you. The things you chase often run fastest… and purpose can’t be hunted down — only discovered.

I've Got Purpose, Now what?

If you've got purpose, and you've removed distractions, you wouldn't be asking "now what?"

You'd be chasing your goals.

This isn't to demoralize you but give you an idea of what it feels like.

You'll be looking at your suffering with gratitude, knowing that each mental strain and physical hardship are testimonials of worthiness; each aiming towards that which you truly seek.

You'll see the lessons in failures. Because purpose beckons you be patient and learn.

You'll create and create. Because purpose beckons you push forward and love.

You'll do these and so much more...

But let me get one thing clear. Purpose isn't the entire solution. Purpose won't give you all the answers. It can't solve all your problems. It won't immediately turn suffering to meaning. It won't cure your depression.

But it's the key. It's the key to it all.

But what value does a key hold, if you're blind? How good is a key if you don't know how to use it?

The ultimate guider, the agglomeration of experiences and knowledge, the sum of your scars and lessons: wisdom.

Wisdom is what lets you grasp the key, turn it in the lock, and claim the treasures behind it.

True wisdom fuels purpose — its the chain that keeps it safe.
Proper wisdom is constructive toward the fulfilment of purpose.

However, not all of us — myself included — have that type of wisdom yet.

But that’s okay. This is why we learn. Why I write. Why you’re here. Not to outrun suffering, but to knead it into something sacred — something that bears your name.

So tell me: What will your pain serve? And who will you become when you stop running from it?

I hope this post gave you something — motivation, wisdom or clarity. Even just a little.

Much love,
Seb